Feel Emotionally Drained by your Kid’s Behavior??
My name is Curt Jordan and today I want to talk to you about dealing with difficult behaviors.
First of all, it’s important to NOT take those difficult behaviors personally. The thing that I really urge you to do is remember whose problem this is this? Is it your problem? Or is this the kid’s problem? So many parents feel they need a vacation after you’ve had a vacation. And so many teachers out there feel absolutely exhausted at the end of the day. And the kids?? They go home overjoyed and excited. If you can see how dealing with their behavior sucks the energy out of you and you just feel drained afterwards, I want to give you a few tools that will help you not to have that happen anymore.
The thing that you need to remember is whose problem is this? Is this your problem? Or is this the kid’s problem? If this is the kid’s problem, like they are upset, they are feeling bad, they’re feeling guilty about something, or whatever feeling they are experiencing in the moment: if you take that on as YOUR problem, well then of course, you’re going to be exhausted! The thing you need to understand is that this is their problem. You’re there to help them and you need to focus on what you can control and what you’re willing to do.
For example, if a kid really wants to go outside, but they don’t want to put their shoes on. You can say, “I’d be happy to take you outside to the park. Once you put your shoes on.” If they get upset and they don’t want to put their shoes on and you can repeat yourself: “I need you to put your shoes on, so we can go outside. As soon as you do that, I’d be happy to take you outside.” If they’re still protesting, you can add: “Well, you know, I only have another 20 minutes to spend time at the park. So the longer it takes you to put your shoes on, the less time we will have at the park.” So reframe what you’re willing to do and do not try to solve their problem. Instead of trying to solve their problem, say what you’re willing to do in a calm and factual voice. When you keep an emotional distance to their behavior and don’t make it your problem or take it personally, it will be so much to manage challenging behavior and itI will help everyone to be a lot happier.
I hope that helps you when the next challenging situation comes up. Stay calm, say what you are willing to do and don’t make it your problem.
Let us know if you have any challenging situations with your kids you would like us to include in our blog!
